don't wanna..

I don't wanna do dis nemore..
I don't wanna shed away d tears..
I don't wanna hurt miself again..
I don't wanna live in d fear..

I don't wanna trust u nemore..
I don't wanna luk bk in d past..
I don't wanna c d stranger in me again..
I don't wanna dis pain 2 last..

I don't wanna lose nemore..
I don't wanna b full of hatred..
I don't wanna c u ever again..
I don't wanna remember wteva u did..

I don't wanna luv u nemore..
I don't wanna ne sympathies..
I don't wanna start al over again..
I don't wanna hav ur memories..

I don't wanna regret nemore..
I don't wanna let mi soul die..
I don't wanna let u hurt me again..
I don't wanna cry..

tuk tuk..

Everyday whthr i c mi frndz or nt..whthr i gv mi mum a cal or nt..dese r d guyz i meet regularly..



evry fine morning afta getng ready for work..d moment i step outta mi apartment i want 2 c dese guyz..asap..a bit of delay n mi heart starts sinking..



Guyz n Galz..introducing 2 u an imperative part of mi life(well..afta i shifted 2 hydbd & started working)..ahem..D TUK TUK guyz or in common language..d AUTORICK WALLAS...applause..appaluse..



Cal dem wteva d Phat Phati walla or d auto bhaiya..dey can b seen in al major cities..honking ..bargaining..eating ur head in d process..never ready 2 go by meter newayz..no matter how much u try..u'll gv up until unless u hav gr8 convincing power and loadz of patience of course.



Their fav one liner(thanx 2 mi 7 mnths of experience in dealing wid dem)..

• nai mam..meter nai chalta.kharab hai..



• meter se 10 rs zada..(y d hell do dey hav meter in d 1st place)



• 50 rs de do(for a dist of 2 kmzz!!!)



• wahan se sawari nai milta khali aana padta..etc etc..

Each working day eva though i live at a distance of 10 min frm mi workplace hav 2 start like half an hour early..coz hafta deal wid dese guyz..

And d morning d 1st rick guy agrees 2 go by meter.woohhooo..a surge of happinness gushes inside..sign of a gud day..nice start afta al..:)

hav had mi share of experiences wid dem..an auto guy afta dropping me home suddenly pops dis ques..hav u had ur lunch mam???for a brief moment i did'nt react at al..mixed emotionz..was really hungry dat time n i a sullen mood..so dese words frm sm1 whoz nt even interacted wid me..i felt like cryng..n den dere was dis feeling.. wat d fuck????y is he so bothered???y can't he do his own work???deep inside it felt gud..i dunno..

N few dayz back dere was dis guy..i was waiting for a rick outside mi office wen dis autowalla stopped and asked whr i was headed 2 ...n though he was gng in an opposite direction guided me as in frm whr 2 hire d auto(i was standing on d wrong side) and al dis in superb English!!!I was wondering fr sometime if he was even dis much educated y dis profession..gt no ans coz b4 i cud ask him nethng he was gone..

3 yrs back during mi 1st yr in college came across dis rick guy who dropped me and mi frndz frm a pt whr dere was no chance of getng any auto 2 an autostand in d middle hrs of d nite..n widout even charging nethng!!!!

They have'nt failed to taught me a few thngs here n dere..the skill of bargaining..d art of being adamant..sometimes eva stubborn..being persistent..bt yeah i hav had mi times wen i jes give up on dem..

1 day of auto strike..dunno abt odrz bt mi life wud cum 2 a standstill..dey r d only means of commuting for me till m in hyderabad..so guyz whthr u bargain or do ne kinda kich kich..plz dnt think of gng on strike neday..me and many odr ppl depend on u..

huhh..yet another morning..more classes in bargaining..m ready fr it..hope 2 dayz one of mi lucky dayz...

If Only..

weird time..weird topic..

mind at work(at last..) tryng to analyse mi life so far..wat al i've done..wat i shud hav done which i never did..wat al thngs i shud hav avoided..

Life would hav been completely different..

If only i had concentrated more on mi studies dan loadz of odr thngs..

if only i had learnt a lesson and prepared well for mi medical entrances..

If only i had taken d rite decisions at d rite time and prioritize mi work...

If only i had not made mistakes al mi life..

If only i had learnt frm mi mistakes..

If only i had kept mi heart in control and not let it rule ova mi mind in taking some major decisions of life..

If only i had not erased some imp relations frm mi life..

If only i was not lingering into past..

If only i had accepted d truth and not cling on d hope dat thngs mite change 1 day..

If only i had not fallen in luv..

If only i cud luv u less..

mourn for mumbai..

hell broke loose in mumbai..n i got 2 knw abt it wen i went 2 work 2day..d whole offce was talking abt it..shocked and stunned dat i was..suddenly it struck ma mind dat ma sis was in d same city..and very near d place whr al dis happened..after a phn cal was bit relaxed dat she was fine..mom was hysteric..wanted al of us 2 b back wid her in a sec..many mothers would be feeling d same way..worried abt dere children who r far away frm home..al coz of sm nasty ppl and dere evil devilish intentions..dunno wat dey want 2 achieve by doing al dis..dey demselves knw dey wnt b able 2 achieve wtever dey want in their lifetime..den y waste energy in hrming ppl who r already burdened wid al sorts of problms..wat d f is wrong wid dese guyz..y can't dey jes live in peace n let odrz live happily..who asked dem 2 go on a mission 2 create another so cald heaven or 2 liberate ppl..i did not..millions odr also did'nt..but v al hav 2 suffer coz sm ppl hav taken d responsibilty of cleansing d world for al of us..d philanthropist dat dey are..wat d fuck..

completely numb...

ma mind has gone blank..dazed..confused..completely numb..has stopped thinking..stopped responding..nt even d way u feel afta u get high..it was nt dis way alwayz..even few dayz back twas busy doing somethng..makng up stories..tryng 2 find out smthng or d odr frm wteva info it was getng..tryng 2 make me feel miserable(n quite successful in doing dat)..was pretty active al dese dayz..bt al of sudden it has stopped..hibernation or wat..formed a cocoon arnd itself and isolating me al2gether..n d best part m nt eva aware of d reason..sumtimes it treats me like a complete stranger..jes forcing me 2 stare blankly coz d thought process is completely ruled by it..me havng no say in that..like d way itz doing rite now..